That Asshole Can't Be My Teammate!
by StaYgolden3262
Summary: Follows the conception of Team Hebi and their journey to seek revenge. However, there's a twist: her name is Tato Sotsohiri. Sparks fly and battles rage as the team struggles to tolerate one another. Suigetsu x Non-Mary-Sue OC, plus lots of Team Hebi.


**Author's note is at the bottom**. **I'd really appreciate if you'd read it! :)**

* * *

Waves rippled across the gray lake as two pairs of feet came to a halt. Mist surrounded the forms of two travelers, one with impossibly dark hair and the other with hair just as light.

"So who are we retrieving now?" the taller one asked. He eyed the other boy warily again. Suigetsu had agreed to help him, but that didn't mean he would blindly follow that prodigy's orders. _"And to think I have to work with that bitch, Karin,"_ he thought. It really didn't seem worth it, but he figured it was better than being locked in that water chamber at Orochimaru's place.

"Tato Sotsohiri." Sasuke replied, a clipped, formal tone to his voice. _"This guy really bugs me," _Suigetsu couldn't help but think. What a prissy weirdo. And Tato? He had no idea who the hell that was, but he wasn't looking forward to finding out.

"Tato? Why him?" he asked. Sasuke smirked. That moron really didn't know who she was, did he? Sasuke wasn't looking forward to working with either of them, but he figured it was the lesser of two evils. Besides, bonds were useless, especially with the group whose sole purpose was to kill the man who had severed his: Itachi. It wasn't like he had to make friends. He turned to his first teammate again.

"_She_ has skills that would be of use to us. I've surmised you haven't learned of her, Suigetsu?" He replied coolly, his features serenely condescending.

"Like I give a damn about some random missing-nin. She's gonna be just as bad as Karin, why did we have to get _two_ girls?"

"You've been in that water chamber for a while. She's a renegade who is near-legendary. Karin has a unique talent we'll need too, and so does Juugo. You don't have to like them, but you will work with them." Sasuke responded. That little shit was really starting to bother him with his incessant blathering.

Suigetsu grumbled under his breath and the two resumed walking again. _"That's probably the most I've ever heard Sasuke say," _he couldn't help but think. That damn ice cube. At least he had his sword, and ideally he would have Kisame's pretty soon too. That was the only consolation Suigetsu could offer himself as he and his new team leader made their way to pick up some pathetic ninja.

* * *

"Fucking pathetic," Tato cursed under her breath as she knelt by the bubbling creek cleaning her wounds. It was a bruise to her ego that she had actually gotten any. The assassination hadn't even involved any ninjas; her assignment was just to eliminate the Grass Country's intelligence board. "Bunch of pansies," she said, remembering the assignment.

She had been hired by a bitter ex-Grass nin who was out for revenge against the village that had shunned him. Tato had considered his reasoning immature, but she killed for money and he was offering quite a good sum. There wasn't really any reason to complain. She remembered the killing and grinned wickedly to herself. The assassination had been fun. The losers had begged for their lives, but she reckoned she was beyond pity, at least if the way she gouged out their eyes and slit their stomachs just for the hell of it was any indication. Tato found a sort of beauty in violence; she enjoyed watching as the stomach acid ate through the men's bodies, slow and painful.

That didn't mean that she wasn't disappointed with herself, though. They weren't even ninja and Tato had gotten injured. She was actually attacked by a passing Grass nin; Those pathetic excuses of men had screamed and a nearby ninja had come to their aid. One of the stray kunai he had thrown had nicked her arm as she retreated, and he had definitely seen her. It was pathetic that she couldn't even complete a genin's mission, but she was more worried her that she had left somebody alive. Killing the intelligence board was no issue, but stealth was necessary. Tato's stealth was why that wretched missing-nin had hired her, anyway. Having a witness to the assassination wasn't exactly the goal.

Her speed was her strongest asset and had been honed past the level of any ordinary ninja's, due in part to both a natural affinity and merciless training. The mission had to be carried out quickly with no survivors and not a trace of where she came from or who had hired her. Her employer (she really couldn't be damned to remember his name) was deathly afraid that the Grass Country would discover his treachery and retaliate; Tato remembered being disgusted with his cowardice. She absentmindedly hoped that the ninja who had injured her would find the man and put him out of his misery.

Tato was startled out of her self-retribution by the appearance of someone else's chakra. She concentrated and concluded the intruders were definitely two people, definitely ninja, and definitely not trying to hide their presence. They intended for her to see them. Her senses alert, Tato let the water cupped in her hand run through her fingers as she got up to circle the area. She felt the air that bent around her; she was definitely going fast enough. Whoever they were, they shouldn't be able to see her.

Her eyes widened as she saw two boys walk into the clearing and eye the grassy stream where she had been sitting. She recognized one of them from the Uchiha symbol on his back; it was Orochimaru's apprentice, Sasuke. She heard snippets of their conversation when she passed them: "stupid girl" "definitely here" "sense it" "her?" "fight".

"_I'm sick of listening to these dickwads,_" Tato thought to herself. The electricity that had gathered around her sparked and faded as she slowed to a stop, facing the duo. "What do you want?" Tato barked, lifting her chin and eyeing the two with disdain. She kept her voice harsh; showing vulnerability or compromise in the face of an enemy was a beginner's mistake, and she wasn't about to make two of those in one day. She felt some disappointment as she looked them over; she doubted a couple of pretty-boys would pose any threat to her. Tato had heard of Sasuke; everybody knew about the Uchiha prodigy who had defeated Orochimaru, but she had expected him to look a bit more menacing.

"You will join my team. I need your talents." Sasuke told her. His tone left no room for negotiation. Tato rolled her eyes. Did all boys have to act so high and mighty? She wasn't going to give this one any leverage; she was no fool.

"Yeah, you and every other damn ninja who wants a job done around here. I'm not joining any teams and I'm not taking anybody's orders, you self-entitled priss," She responded. Sasuke's face remained impassive; he was above petty insults and he hadn't expected her to come without a fight anyway. It was no trouble to him, however. He already had a plan; the girl didn't stand a chance. Suigetsu groaned; that bitch was just like Karin and he really didn't want to deal with both of their shitty attitudes. She looked weird, too. Not like a ninja. Her hair was light and cropped long on one side and short on the other, and was clad impractically, bare stomach exposed._ "Fucking slut. I bet that's why Sasuke wants her." _he thought, an angry glare marring his features.

"I'm not hiring you, and you don't get a choice." Sasuke responded coolly. He shifted into an offensive stance as Suigetsu yawned. "You will come with me or you will die."

**

* * *

Are you guys hanging on the edges of your seats? Probably not, lol. I feel like Team Hebi needs more love, so I decided to make a fanfic centering around their search for Itachi and what they do afterwards (no spoilers here!). I also fail to see the appeal of SuiKa and SuiSasu (sorry!) so I decided I might as well make a new character! **

**It is my utmost hope that she is not a Mary-Sue.**** She **_**will **_**lose the fight, and her weaknesses **_**(**_**oh yes, does she have them!) **_**will**_** be revealed. So now that you've read the first installment, I will beg on my hands and knees for you to ****REVIEW!**** This **_**is **_**my first venture into a multi-chapter fic, so feedback is very important to me! I'll probably dedicate future chapters to reviewers or something lame like that. **

**Also, FYI: I will be updating this fairly quickly, so subscribe to alerts if you like it. What I write and when I publish it depend on inspiration, but I have a loose plot idea and hope to average a chapter a week. Ideally they will get longer as well. If you've read this entire A/N also, thank you so much! **

**Much Love,**

**Dana (StayGolden3262)**


End file.
